Our best bet against COVID-19 or containing any future viral outbreaks : Courtesy
Some pearls of wisdom from The Book of Courtesy & The Art of Living with Others by Sr. Mary Mercedes O.P published in 1910 to guide us through such trying times.
I truly believe, that we have lost a very important part of our goods selves when we gave up the sanctity of the family unit, in pursuit of personal gains and satisfaction. We not only loose our graceful ways and courteous manner in life, so did our children and their children. But it is not lost for good, it can be our old new norm, an old new way of life. In the wake of this horrific global pandemic, as lives and businesses begin to restart into a new phase, I look to the past to seek for our next best survival tool against any future outbreaks or possible man made tragedies.
Let us start with some good old definition shall we. So we all use the word ‘courtesy’ many times in our daily lives. And the latest definition, from Google defines it as “the showing of politeness in one’s attitude and behavior towards others. “He treated the players with courtesy and good humor” Another definition to add on states that it is “a polite remark or considerate act”. I will take those two definitions and shall expand it later. Now, let’s explore the book a little shall we?
The Book of Courtesy by Sr. M Mercedes, 1910
The first chapter of the book jumps right into the soul of the book itself. The line “A Sympathetic Manner,” which says: “Courtesy is a way of living inspired by thoughtfulness, consideration, and respect for others and for yourself.” (M.Mercedes, Book of Courtesy, Chp. 1, 1910 cited from http://dioscg.org/to-teach-good-manners-say-exactly-what-you-mean/)
As we are all new with this face mask culture, countries like China, HK, Japan, Taiwan and even Vietnam to an extend has been practicing wearing a face mask when they are on a onset of a flu or fever. Why? Don’t be surprised. It is an act To protect others. To illustrate this point further, here is a video made 2 years ago by a foreigner living in China and precisely discusses on “Why people wear face masks? For the purpose of this article, you can stop after Point #2. (you can continue if you wish)
I experienced this great difference in attitude when I had the opportunity to visit Taipei back in 2004 before SARS and again in 2010 and 2013 post SARS and the behavior of the Taiwanese people towards “others” changed tremendously as the mask culture not only brought in Behavioral change in people but one can feel a true and deep Attitudinal change in its people.
Attitudinal and Behavioral Change
Back to the Book of Courtesy. Here we hear Sr. M Mercedes OP mention about a true act our courtesy and not a fake show. She said “Countering the suspicion that good manners are somehow insincere, the text adds: “Tactful behavior springs from the heart, from the desire to put others at ease and make them comfortable, even in awkward or difficult situations.” (M.Mercedes, Book of Courtesy, 1910 cited from http://dioscg.org/to-teach-good-manners-say-exactly-what-you-mean/ )
This behavioral change was so apparent in Taipei, that it flows right through to even the shop attendants welcoming you with a smile and passing you a small basket and only to approach you if you look lost. Restaurants, MRT lines and eateries are all welcoming and always eager to serve. We could say it’s a humbling from the SARS experience but it can be traced back too to their once colonized period by the Japanese, as they too carry such an attitude in their believe systems and it shows in the way they now behave towards others.
Attitude comes from our believe system and believing that truly will guide your behavior. I always like to use this example. An act we see a lot on the streets of Malaysia is throwing rubbish out of you car window or while you are just walking by. The mindset is “the sweeper will clean it up, if not they will be out of a job.” This is a very twisted logic that stems out of a self centered justification. The street sweeper is not there to sweep your rubbish, they are there to clean the leaves and broken branches so that they don’t get our drains clogged and in rainy season, flash floods may not occur as our drains has the capacity to flow rain water to the main system and out to our rivers. Throwing rubbish as you wish, slows their work down as they cannot complete their jobs and when heavy downpour happens, don’t blame anyone if your car get submerged under flood waters.
“Courtesy is a way of living inspired by thoughtfulness, consideration, and respect for others and for yourself.” thought Sr. M Mercedes OP
Of Human Values
In most of my writing, I stress a lot on the topic of human values. Its can stem from our family, our religion or friends or inspires by books or movies, but above it all, we are all good people. Deep inside we want to do good. Reflect on how you have behave towards others, did you speak to your waiter looking at him/her and acknowledging his/her presence like a dignified human being? Think of moments you fall short where anger and jealousy or dishonesty and laziness stopped you from moving forward and your act hurt someone dear. If you are in the capacity to apologize (came from the ancient Greek word ‘apologizesthai’ which means to ‘give an account’) do so, if not learn to forgive yourself and strive to be better. Embody a few good Values and it will take you a long way in life, as it shapes you personality, your decision making process, the way you treat others and yourself and how you leave your personal legacy.
An Old/New Norm
“Always remember that during your lifetime, the rules of etiquette may change, but courtesy and good manners will always be important.”— from Chapter III, Daily Courtesies, The Book of Courtesy, 1910, cited from https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1304474.A_Book_of_Courtesy
To end, I really don’t buy into this whole New Norm or Adjusting to a New Life. If our attitude towards others and ourselves don’t change, whatever norm it is, we will be doomed if another wave of an even stronger Coronavirus mutates and makes an attack and it can come from any country. A flu use to be common. Today it is not. I remember my late dad use to go to work with a handkerchief in his pocket and he will sneeze or cough into it and fold it to a clean square. Mum will always ask us to wash our hands before meals and after with soap and maintain a good hygiene at home and school. Cut our nails. Brush our teeth. Perhaps we have forgotten. Perhaps, we prefer the face masks and hand sanitizers of today. Whatever the paraphernalia is, our attitude will determine our next chance of survival. Better start now.
